♥Siling ; Lingzi
11.11.1989
NgeeAnnPoly[healthsciences]
19~
attached to TANSIPING since 06022006 Email/msn : Click Here
♥Adores;Detests♥
ADORES
`red milk tea is a part of my life.
`sweet talks from darlings dears and laogong.
`pink;black;brown;white were my fav colours.
`i approach my hamsters when i'm down.*they were great listeners!
`Jolin & JJ were my motivations.
DETESTS
`to be betrayed.
`to be surrounded by hypocrites and fakers.
`to be neglected and forgotten.
`to be provoked when in bad mood. ♥IwishIwishIwish♥
`visit to the ZOO!
`ride on singapore flyer
`new wallet
`new slippers
`dine at TAO's restaurant
okays. it's 11.49 p.m rite now and i'm sittin here. bloggin.
tings happened so fast. so fast tt no warnin was given. so fast tt i couldn't accept de fact.
went for medical examination todae. cos tt stupid course needs it. blahblahblah. and i noe i had veri thin veins. which took de doctor 3 trys to take my blood. and i gt poke 3 times on 3 different places. and de result is. there's still not enuf blood. grrr.
next. i had to do eye test. urine test as well.
and. i jus went toilet before i went down. so i reali reali had nth for them. *dun laugh* so i bought water and drank everything. so time is all i need. mi and dear sat on de bench at central and wait. it's not as if i dun wana go home fast hao bu hao. i jus had nth to pee can?!
and time passed. dear said one thing. so we'll just sit here and waste our time lor. just tis sentence. it's enuf for mi to drizzle. wadeva.
den we went back to de clinic. and i gave them de thing tt all of us waited so long for. and they gave mi a slip of paper. tmr mornin to go to jp dere for x-ray screening. so i'm now sittin here. staring at every word i typed.
tmr. mornin. alone. jp. clinic. x-ray. bukitgombak. photocopied ic. mail. tis is wad i can tink of right now. i'm confused. i nid help. i nid care. i nid concern.
hais. i'm in pain. my left toes were swollen like pig legs. and de way i walk is like.. so weird. and i have to go jp alone in tis state. hais. i've resigned to my fate. i dun wana change it. tt'll be de way it is. alone.
i noe i keep complainin here and dere. but sorri guys hu's readin tis post right now. cos i reali nid to take it out on something. and my poor blog volunteers. =(
another ting i wanted to sae. is abt being de middle man. i reali felt so stupid. i even scolded myself in de mirror. y am i such an idiot. how stupid to an extent could i be??
being de middle man reali sucks. i dun wana care abt it anymore. i'll stop pleasing both sides. it's not my problem anyway. y should i even care?
de u infront of mi is no longer de u last time. tings changed as time goes by. including love. should i still believe there's reali love in tis world? do friendship love stands longer than relationships love? i duno. i wana find out too. frens. i love my frens. i love de way they are. no matter guys or gals. i jus love them. no matter wad they did in de past. no matter am i in their hearts. i still love them de way they r.
u. i can stand up high and tell de whole world i reali do love you. i've proved to u. i've done silly things too. but y am i so heartbroken now? y am i leakin water everytime i tink of our past? it's not tt i see no future in it. it's like both of us had changed. changed to someone new. changed to another person tt we have to adapt from de start. i duno. y everything become like tis. y..
i tried not to tink. i noe u do love mi. i always tot tt nothing could come between us since we've been through so many things. but it seem to mi tt anithing can come in between us now. and i mean anithing. haix.
ur workin life has drifted us apart. it's not tt i dun wana understand u. i wan to! but it's reali hard for mi to suddenly not see u from mornin till night. our school days. we almost see each other for a full 13 hrs. and now? maybe onli 1 to 2 hrs for 3 days?? i can't adapt to these kind of living. i reali can't.
i tried to slp as long as i can. so tt time passes quickly. i noe it's lame. i noe it's stupid. ya. just let mi be stupid can u? i tried to find things to do. like playin mahjong with my frens. u're jealous. dun tell mi u were not. no one will believe u. i jus wana keep myself so so so occupied tt without u, i can still live well. but i failed.
i tot tt night we've already sorted out everything. both of us cried. and we cried real hard. i noe our knot has been untied. but y does it seem tt more knots have been appearing? and now even harder to untie? do keeping our distances cool us down? does it make knots untie themselves?
ur warmth. ur hug. ur kisses. ur everything seems to get further and further away from mi. i'd sleepless nights oftenly. i missed u. missed u real lots. i even tried to draw ur face on my bolster and hug it. i wrote ur name on every paper i could find. i typed messages to u and save it in my drafts. i re-read every letter tt u wrote to mi. i do silly things tt i couldn't imagine myself doing. wad were all these for? cos i love you.
